The United Socialist Republic of The Catholic State of Eire is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Taoiseach Pádraig MacCraith with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, prohibition of alcohol, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 17.852 billion Éireannacha love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Baile Átha Cliath. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Éireannach economy, worth a remarkable 2,788 trillion Punts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 156,228 Punts, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Photographers can be found hiding behind the curtains in Taoiseach Pádraig MacCraith's bedroom, military information leaks are **REDACTED** by **REDACTED** in **REDACTED**, trying to toast marshmallows in an electric fireplace just isn't the same, and teen boys and girls find stick-figure-aided lectures on their comradestruation emphasises socialist unity more than biology. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Catholic State of Eire's national animal is the Irish Wolfhound, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is the Catholic Church in Éire.

The Catholic State of Eire is ranked 2,780^th in the world and 4^th in Right to Life for Nicest Citizens, with 63 average smiles per day.