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This Is Probably Unrelated To Your Region In Any Way But Since Our Region Has A Embassy With You I Might As Well Say It.
Our Region Is Having A Government Shutdown. Ask Questions If You Want.
Ascoobis and Jo hore
The Midnight Star
Fires Envelope!
Largely unmolested for decades, the remote Kajeb Monastery, one of the last that survived the Spanish Purge of Ascoobian culture, is threatened by the growing blazes of the Red Ranch Fire, which has ravaged 8,000 acres of the Calapooya Mountains in Southern Oregon and remains at 0% containment and is expanding uncontrollably. The site exists at the peak of Balm Mountain, has been cutoff by the ferocious fire and is reachable only by helicopter. The Monks of Kajeb reportedly refuse to allow themselves to be evacuated, as well as the trove of priceless religious artifacts that lie within their crypt. Choosing hunker down, accept any strangling hikers, and wait out the siege, depending on their chief deity for protection. More will be shared as new information comes in from the Ascoobian Nature Services assembling reserve army units to battling this blaze.
Friendship Frozen?
With the renewal date of the Berlin-Darkmount Pact of Economic Cooperation nearing, Ascoobis' German ambassador Bianca Vogel has been unable to get in touch with her counterpart in Berlin. While the official story remains technical issues, due to perhaps hidden compatibilities between the German and Ascoobian Intranets, some sources hint that the disconnect may be political.
Ascoobis' overall positive history with Germany dates back to its predecessor, the Kingdom of Prussia. Kaiser Wilhelm the First developed an unlikely friendship with the exiled Ascoobian prince, Aliseyu. As a result, Prussia was a key ally in the Ascoobian War of Independence and reestablishment of the monarchy. From then on, the Ascoobian Kingdom extended a compassionate hand of friendship and gratitude to the people of Germany and was a strong ally until the disastrous defeat at the hands of ATCO in the American Theater of The Great War. Relations remained murky throughout the rest of the 20th Century as extremist regimes rose and waned. Until the mending and stabilization of relations in the 1970s.
In it's most modern iteration, Germany is a land of extreme contradictions. Starting with the fact that it classifies itself as a "Marxist Kingdom", a unique form of constitutional monarchy. This controversial form of governance has made Germany an international pariah to Capitalistic and Communistic nations alike, its economy forced into a state of autarky, excluding trade with specific states such as historic allies, including Nuak and Ascoobis.
In Other News...
An ongoing incident at Beijing University has mobilized Police forces and forced residents to seek shelter. The Ascoobian government wishes for its exchange students to take shelter at the nearest Ascoobian Consulate, if possible. Rumors that the incident has been sparked my violent Maoists, having previously stormed a local police headquarters remain unconfirmed, but Ascoobis is operating under that assumption unless conflicting information surfaces.
Nathan Taylor has been declared guilty for the horrific murder of Ephyral Selian international student Petrus Dormaereon and has been sentenced to undergo Emasculation before being sent to a final execution by Inert Gas Asphyxiation a month later.
Nordamy, The Land of the Ephyral, and Jo hore
Xinhua News
The Truth Will Set You Free
Domestic
LIVE COVERAGE
Beijing University Stand Off
We are on the ground at Beijing University where a standoff is unfolding between police and a group of armed thugs that call themselves "Revolutionary Maoist Movement"(RMM). They claim to be a splinter group from the RSAL group. RMM seized several classroom buildings, the chapel, dormitory and the administration building.
Police arrived within minutes of receiving calls from panicking students, mamy of them residents in the dorms. Students at the university were ordered to lock their doors and to shelter in place. Foreign students on campus were ordered to do the same until they are evacuated along with domestic students.
Students off campus are asked to stay home. All foreign students have been issued an advisory to shelter in their consulates or to shelter in place. We can see Tactical units and more patrol officers fortifying the permiter. We could see Police snipers positioned on the roofs of buildings, their rifles trained at the black clad RMM thugs.
A negotiator from the National Police Agency has been in dialogue to let all students evacuate peacefully and to stand down. RMM issued their demands that we will list
1. President Ma and PM Bo are to step down
2. The government of China is to be reformed
3. China is to establish diplomatic relations with Socialist countries
4. Safe passage off Beijing Campus
The group stated they are armed with guns and bombs. They have threatened to shoot at students and at police.
The National Police Agency as well as Beijing City Police, Beijing University Police, Tactical units and the National Guard have surrounded the university with their guns trained at the occupied buildings. Behind them are fire fighters and paramedics.
We can see a cloud of smoke rising from one of the classroom buildings that they set on fire. Computers and books litter the fields in front of the captured buildings. Communist graffiti was sprayed on the walls and the Hammer and Sickle flag of the Communist Party as well as the RMM flag was raised on the roof of the administration building.
We will continue to cover this dramatic stand off.
THE EPHYRAL MESSENGER | Printed 4th April 2035
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War
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African campaign declared over...
Nearly two years ago, Ephyral legions assigned to the Phalanx Africa undertook a new campaign against declared belligerents in northern Africa, as part of a now long-standing trend of bloodying Ephyra's new recruits against a real enemy, enabling them the opportunity for spoils and scars in Ephyra's name. Unlike the prior campaign just under a decade ago, the Ephyral operations in Africa met with limited foreign opposition. Tensions between Ephyra and the various north African polities and tribes have existed for over a century, due to tribal conflicts between federates of Ephyra's empire and their rivals outside of it. The legions were joined by auxiliaries of all backgrounds in the campaign.
Details of the campaign such as number of dead or wounded have not been publicly revealed but the operation has been declared a victory, and all forces pulled back to provincial territory. Speaking on the campaign, the governor of the Africa province issued a written statement that said, "Glory and honour belongs to the men who have risked their lives in Ephyra's name, and above all to the ones who gave their lives in full. The fallen have been given full funerary rites, and their families issued with the crown of sacrifice. Many spoils were taken from the campaign, and the families of those who fell shall enjoy the fruits of their loved one's conquests, whilst the living too have their pick of reward. To our auxiliaries, we likewise ensure their entitled share. Aminis shares our love of battle and victory. Larox brings it upon the field. The gods will have their share, and Ephyra will endure."
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International
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Exchange student killer sentenced...
Nathan Taylor, the killer of Ephyral student Pheteros Osios Dormaereon (known as Petrus Dormaereon in Western media), has been sentenced by an Ascoobian court to emasculation and execution by inert gas asphyxiation. Taylor was arrested and charged last year with the murder of Dormaereon as a consequence of the unprecedented publicity of the phenomena that became known as the 'Slap-ass challenge'. Taylor, acting under rumour that Dormaereon had touched his sister in this way, attacked him with a bat, resulting in his death. No basis to the rumours have been found, nor is it clear whether any contact between Dormaereon and the sister of the convicted occurred but was misinterpreted, or from whom the rumour of assault came. Whether this will be investigated is unknown.
Dormaereon's body was returned to Ephyra as soon as necessary post-mortem analysis was completed, where he was given traditional funeral rites and cremated. Dormaereon's familial father, his grandfather for whom he is named, Pheteros Osios Dormaereon (the elder), willingly gave comment to the news of conviction and sentencing. "That the Ascoobians have pursued justice in accordance with their own laws is heartening to us. Gods forbid any family should see one of their own killed in foreign lands, where you do not know the likelihood of identifying who is responsible. That they have returned my grandson's body, named, prosecuted, and convicted the man responsible for his death, and will move to carry out the sentence, is satisfactory."
Marxist agitation in China...
Tensions between the Chinese government and its Communist Party, and a number of armed Marxist militias, have escalated rapidly recently, with a standoff between the 'Revolutionary Maoist Movement' and Beijing police at Beijing University. The RMM, a self-professed splinter of another group, RSAL, have issued demands including; the resignation of President Ma and Prime Minister Bo; the reformation of the government; diplomatic relations with socialist countries; and safe passage off of the campus.
These issues began escalating from last year, when the Chairman of the Communist Party of China, Zhao Yang, accused Prime Minister Bo Ling Chen of 'abuse of position', after it emerged that during her visit to Ephyra and her overnight stay at the villa of then Archon Kalemnos Kelerios Amandos, with whom she was meeting on diplomatic matters, that she had taken herself to the room of the archon's son, Volesos Kelerios Amandos. The pair being spotted together the next day had sparked rumours of an association which were confirmed by Volesos not long after, in which he stated publicly that he had bedded the Chinese Prime Minister.
The Communists accused Bo Ling Chen of using her body to advance relationships with 'capitalist' and 'bourgeoisie' countries. The Kuomintang, Bo Ling Chen's party, declined to take any measures as the interaction was consensual, although remarked upon the event as being unprofessional. Xinhua News reported the public's interest in the matter as being neutral, a sentiment echoed in Ephyra both publicly and politically.
Later, the Communists were suspended for investigation, pending suspicion of links to RSAL, a group which had made an assassination threat against Bo Ling Chen, and later stormed a police headquarters. At Beijing university, both the RMM and Communist Party flags have been raised, raising suspicion of further links by the Reds. Ephyra's new annual archons have offered their support to President Ma and to Prime Minister Bo Ling Chen especially, who met the Senate in Ephyra, releasing a brief statement clarifying that, "in the interests of our new friendship, Ephyra shares the Chinese abhorrence to Marxian thought, and is willing to stand by its eastern friends against the threat."
Xinhua News
The Truth Will Set You Free
Live Coverage
Standoff In Beijing U
We are filming this live from a cleared out dormitory on the campus of Beijing University. The RMM have set up a base of operations right across from the police staging area. Both sides are heavily armed and are staring each other down. Two dormitories were cleared out ever since the standoff started. It appears that the standoff will end itself as a further round of negotiations is expected to take place that will guarantee the safety of...
*shots ring out from a dormitory followed by screams*
That's gunfire! Duck and cover!
*police units charge towards the shooting, some in tactical gear, others in standard uniform and some in plainclothes. All are brandishing loaded weapons*
Police are charging towards the shooting. We can see several students running away with their hands up. Some of them are bleeding.
*A masked shooter runs out and shoots at an officer, he falls to the ground injured. The officers shoot the RMM shooter in the chest*
Officers are moving in to clear out the building
*After a series of shots, stun grenades and tear gas the building is given an All Clear. A K9 unit goes in to search the building for bombs*
It appears the building is cleared out. A K9 unit is searching the building as police are moving in to clear a second building.
*shots ring out followed by silence. An officer says frantically and heartbroken on the radio*
"We have a K9 down! Repeat K9 down!"
*another voice over the radio*
"10-4..Be advised all responders we have multiple 10-54s and 10-51s in Building A"
Xinhua News
The Truth Will Set You Free
Domestic
Beijing University Shoot Out
The standoff at Beijing University ended in a shoot out between RMM and Police. In total, 35 students were killed by RMM, 3 police officers were killed, 10 police officers were injured and 1 K9 dog was killed. 15 RMM terrorists were killed in the shootout with 5 injured. The remaining 10 surrendered to police after they were cornered in the administration building. Police pumped tear gas into the building to flush them out. After a few minutes, they all surrendered.
Several students were injured, many of them seriously. Medics rushed the wounded to local hospitals, all with gunshot wounds. Interrogations have started for the captured terrorists. Funerals for the deceased will be held at St. Francis Xavier Church.
Communist Party Investigated
An audit by the Revenue Service found that the Communist Party was contributing funds to RSAL and RMM via secure money transfers. It was also found that the Party was receiving significant funds from the USSR and from Communist movements in the West. The Communist Party has been suspended from taking part in political events indefinitely until they answer to a panel of judges. Already the Chairman of the Party was served a court summons by the Constable Service of the National Police Agency. The Police are investigating the foreign connections and will issue court summons to the Chairman of the Soviet Communist Party.
International
African Campaign Ends
News out of 
The Land of the Ephyral. Nearly two years ago, Ephyral legions assigned to the Phalanx Africa undertook a new campaign against declared belligerents in northern Africa.
Casualties have not been released but we have a statement from the governor of Africa
"Glory and honour belongs to the men who have risked their lives in Ephyra's name, and above all to the ones who gave their lives in full. The fallen have been given full funerary rites, and their families issued with the crown of sacrifice. Many spoils were taken from the campaign, and the families of those who fell shall enjoy the fruits of their loved one's conquests, whilst the living too have their pick of reward. To our auxiliaries, we likewise ensure their entitled share. Aminis shares our love of battle and victory. Larox brings it upon the field. The gods will have their share, and Ephyra will endure."
Why do we have embassies
A relic of an old era, I suppose.
Post by Jo hore suppressed by a moderator.
Xinhua News
The Truth Will Set You Free
Breaking News!
爆炸新聞!
Communists Outlawed
The Communist Party, RMM and RSAL were outlawed after a thorough investigation by a Federal judicial panel. The panel concluded that the party was receiving significant funding from abroad from legal and illegal routes such as connections to the Triads and running weapons to Marxist groups. The party also provided significant support to RMM and RSAL to help them get their agenda in place.
This follows on the heels of the shooting at Beijing University that was perpetrated by RMM. The Communist Party was dissolved today at 12 Noon and was made illegal. The few members of the party in the Assembly and the Legislative Yuan resigned and even less switched affiliation to the Labour Party. One member representing the Ütsang Legaue of Communists in Tibet, Mrs. Dachen Kelsang Rinchen, delivered a teary statement
"I can not speak for my comrades but I can only speak for myself...I am greatly sorry for having affiliated with the Communist Party. What we have been doing was motivated by personal gain and a hatred for the moderate and the Right, especially the Kuomintang. We have no excuse for playing our role in the massacre at Beijing University. We have effectively tarnished the Revolution here and abroad by our actions. It is with that, I will resign from office and I will offer my support for the investigators as they find more evidence against us. I am truly sorry for what I have done and for what I have not done."
She was met with jeers from hardline Communists and had to be escorted to safety by police after a Communist threw a chair at her. A few Communists remained defiant and had to be escorted away by police.
RMM and RSAL threw brick at The Forbidden City and at police headquarters...
BREAKING!
We are getting information on a group of RMM and RSAL activists seizing the Chaoyang District of Beijing. Cell phone video shows armed militants shouting at residents as they create barricades on all major intersections. Reports to the Police Department and Fire Department include assaults and destruction of businesses in the area. We can see a cloud of smoke from the District and we can hear police and fire crews rushing to the scene.
*It cuts to a reporter right at a barricaded street. RMM thugs in black with AKs are watching her from balconies*
I can confirm that the Chaoyang District was seized by armed militants as well as property destruction. I have heard gunshots from inside from what I think are gun battles between armed residents and RMM. Police have arrived and have set up a perimeter and are in contact with the five Chaoyang Police Precincts that are under siege by Communists. Police orders are to fight back if you are being threatened by these thugs. It is also asked that if you are able to, please assist the police in securing the area.
Post by Jo hore suppressed by a moderator.
Xinhua News
The Truth Will Set You Free
Continuing Coverage
Chaoyang Under Siege
The Chaoyang District is still being held by the RMM with help from RSAL. Police have also witnessed former leaders of the former Communist Party. A new flag was seen flying over the district indicating some type of merged group. The flag has a red field with a golden hammer, sickle and pen.
We can see more that a division from the Army has arrived to support the police. Earlier we saw Air Force fighters patrolling the air space. Reports from inside indicate residents managed to take back 10 city blocks from the Reds and have allowed the police and army in to assist and use as a staging ground. All day Anti Communist protestors have arrived at the barricades to throw bags of dog excrement, bricks, glass bottles and bleach on the Reds until the police ordered protectors to clear out. We have footage of an RMM terrorist being wounded by having a brick thrown at his head, no medics went in to help despite them being feet away. All medics were ordered to not respond to any injured people with Communist patches on. This has sparked outrage by the Communists
Breaking
We have gotten word of a merger between RMM, RSAL and the former Communist Party into an allied party called the Chinese Workers Party(CWP). Already the group has been labeled a terrorist organization.
THE EPHYRAL MESSENGER | Printed 19th November 2035
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International
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Communist conflict in China continues...
Following the outlawing of the Chinese Communist Party due to ties with Marxist groups RSAL and RMM, armed activists of the two groups alongside leaders of the former Communist Party have taken control of Chaoyang District in Beijing, where a new flag has been raised in declaration of the three groups new unification as the Chinese Workers' Party, swiftly labelled a terrorist organisation by the Chinese government. Police and military have been deployed and the district is now considered under siege. Clashes between armed residents of Chaoyang and the CWP have been reported, although the present situation of the people living under this de facto regime is unclear.
Medics at the scene have, according to Xinhua news, been instructed not to provide medical assistance to those with communist insignia's on their clothing or uniforms, which has apparently sparked outrage by the communists, considered by many to be a curious reaction by what is an apparent secessionist attempt.
The Senate, which has established friendly relations with the Chinese government, has offered its collective support and backing to the recognised authorities, and will stand by all Chinese actions to remove the terrorists and return order to the district, and safety to its people.
THE EPHYRAL MESSENGER | Printed 7th December 2035
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Demonstrations dispersed in Ephyra...
In an unexpected development in the capital yesterday, a group of around fifty demonstrators bearing red flags entered the Kinerian Forum and declared their support for the Chinese Workers' Party, a militant merger of various communist groups in China, who have taken control of Chaoyang District in Beijing. The demonstration remained at the Forum for approximately two and a half hours before altercations broke out with citizen bystanders, leading police to disperse the group. No arrests were made.
Marxist agitation in Ephyra has been historically uncommon, save for a period between 359 and 368 (1920 to 1929) per the Ephyral calendar, where in the aftermath of the First World War and the rise of Bolshevism in the recently formed Soviet Union, ideologically related and inspired groups in Ephyra engaged in activism and militancy. These efforts were opposed both by the Ephyral government and by former soldiers acting on their own initiative, leading to a number of violent clashes both in Selia and the provinces. This culminated in an attempted slave revolt originating in southern Italy, but failed to generate anything outside of Naples, where it was situated. Slaves that did revolt were joined by Marxist supporters in the killing of a number of higher class Ephyral families during a night of looting in 1929, which prompted the local government to authorise lethal force from its local police force and attached veteran paramilitaries. Remembered as the Red Dusk, the event prompted even stronger anti-Marxist sentiment from amongst the Ephyral population. Strong crackdowns were authorised across the entirety of Ephyra, with many arrested and charged with acts of violence and sedition. By the end of 1929, the threat of Marxist subversion was deemed over.
The open declaration by the demonstrators of support for the CWP proves that Marxian thought remains alive today, and has been waiting for an igniting spark to raise its head once again in Ephyra.
The Midnight Star
A Tragic End
With the raging Red Ranch Fire 40% contained, thanks to the deployment of Reserve Army divisions, Ascoobian Nature Service's Search and Rescue take the opportunity to descend on the intact Kajeb Monastery to save the trapped monks. The courtyard that served as an ad-hoc helipad was blanketed in a thin layer of ash and was forebodingly deserted. Plumes of smoke continued to choke the atmosphere and turned the sky into an orange hellscape. The Search Dogs led the would-be rescuers to the Nave of the Monastery's church, where it was shortly found that they were too late. The one-hundred devoted clergymen were found dead still in kneeling positions of prayer. They likely perished from asphyxiation from prolonged smoke inhalation, and seeing the inevitable, coalesced in the nave to pray for salvation. Their objective a failure, a mission to recover the bodies is underway. Surviving members of the decimated Order of Kajeb, having been away from Monastery at the time, declare their intention to reclaim the monastery and rebuild their religious organization, a newborn phoenix to rise from the ashes of the old.
Beijing Boils Over
The Stand-Off between Beijing Police and the rogue university students boiled over into violence as all dialogue broke down. Expectingly, the Police efficiently crushed all resistance encountered. Ascoobian officials condemn the unnecessary violence and bloodshed on the part of the militants and the excessively brutal measures taken by the police towards Chinese citizens. In a comment by the Director of Foreign Affairs about the escalating situation within the borders of our new ally,
"This sets a dangerous precedence and this temporary peace will only escalate violence in the future, even political persecution. Chinese society is on the road on a dark path. A path that our neighboring Citizen States and Washinton embraced with gusto more than a century ago. We saw this in Russia with the Czar. Where just killing dissidents was preferable to addressing the internal conditions that gave rise to them in the first place. The brutal suppression of dissent, not to mention Chinese citizens, and refusal to make peaceful middle-ground reforms lead to further crackdown and make radicalization and cycles of violent revolution inevitable. Is that what China wants, to be in a permanent state of war with its own peasantry that the banned Communism appeals to? We, however, continue to be staunch allies in defiance to the chaos of RMM and RSL and hope that the Chinese Government can deescalate."
In Other News...
Disgraced internet-famous crackpot conspiracy theorist, self-described Libertarian, and avowed anti-Communist Alec Johns of InphoWars, who has a questionably notable following among the Ascoobian Right-Wing, went on an unorthodox rant describing the Chinese government as "Tyrannical" and "Traitors to all brands of Libertarianism" and the RMM and RSL as a "Controlled Opposition, Scapegoats and Patsies" artificially propped up by the Kuomintang as a means for forces within the government to discredit, demonize, and eradicate their political enemies.
Ending it with:
"I hate Communism, the USD is Satan's Anti-Christ itself, but we are witnessing a sick power move not seen since the Burning of the Reichstag in Nazi Germany. If they could do this to the Communists and no one complains, then who's next? If they get away with this, what stops these sleazy, Ephyra-f*cking Reptilians next time? This is not what the sole beacon of Libertarianism in a sea of Socialist Snakes should stand for. We should be better than them. Let them spew their hatred. We the people must be trusted with the FREEDOM to see through them in a democratic fashion and to see the demon within. Crawling down to their level, of tinpot Socialist despots and Super-Fascist Ephyra, we become no better than their Atheist Satanist followers. Come on, folks, don't be a Godless Soyboy Commie or even an Ascoobian Pinko. Buy my DNA Pills for increased Male Sexual Virility, like a proud Capitalist!"
Note that he went on this rant fully nude behind his desk, only wearing a Giant Panda mascot helmet to obscure his face and distort his voice.
Dissidents allied to the Chinese Workers' Party were recently dispersed in Ephyra, of all places. The existence of which is surprising considering the cultural revulsion to ideals found in Marxist ideology.
Pitfalls in Ascilicon's CPU production has lead to a 15% price increase across the board. The Ascoobian Electronics Giant, points to internal instability in China, such as Communist sabotage of raw material mining and dockyard strikes, as the chokepoint that has led to this shortage and the projected loss of Millions over the course of the year.
Xinhua News
The Truth Will Set You Free
International
Communists in The Land of the Ephyral
Demonstrators interrupted the Kinerian Forum brandishing red flags and shouts of support for the CWP. Altercations erupted with police being called in to disperse. No arrests were made against the demonstrators. This shows a dangerous resurgence of Marxism as a result of the actions of Leftist terrorists in China.
Red Ranch Fire Tragedy
The fire in Red Ranch, 
Ascoobis is 40% contained. Among the deceased were a group of monks at Kajeb Monastery. Firefighter chaplain on loan, Fr.Steven Chung, was with the search tean. He described the scene as "grisly and a tragedy".
Pictures spread of the deceased monks still kneeling and Fr. Chung administering Last Rites to the deceased.
Domestic
CWP Defectors
A group from the Chaoyang Occupied Zone surrendered to police. The group said they were defectors and had stolen information. The information includes plans for further attacks, money channels and a copy of their manifesto. Immediately the group's social media was shutdown and police officers were put on alert in targeted areas.
Ma Replies To Comment
"This sets a dangerous precedence and this temporary peace will only escalate violence in the future, even political persecution. Chinese society is on the road on a dark path. A path that our neighboring Citizen States and Washinton embraced with gusto more than a century ago. We saw this in Russia with the Czar. Where just killing dissidents was preferable to addressing the internal conditions that gave rise to them in the first place. The brutal suppression of dissent, not to mention Chinese citizens, and refusal to make peaceful middle-ground reforms lead to further crackdown and make radicalization and cycles of violent revolution inevitable. Is that what China wants, to be in a permanent state of war with its own peasantry that the banned Communism appeals to? We, however, continue to be staunch allies in defiance to the chaos of RMM and RSL and hope that the Chinese Government can deescalate."
The Foreign Minister of Ascoobis commented this regarding the "use of force" by the Chinese police. President Ma along with PM Bo and the Commissioner of the National Police Agency issued a response
Ascoobis is asking us to enter into "dialogue" and "understanding" with these terrorist thugs. We can not hug and sing kumbaya with those who wish to kill our countrymen. Such a free nation can not understand our history and we do not expect you or anyone else to read up on the atrocities they have committed and continue to commit. The time for talking it out was squandered when they started shooting innocents in Chaoyang. We do not accept, we will not permit, this Communist shape of things to come. It will never be forced upon us.
Primate Gyatzo Hosts Summit
Primate Gyatzo of the Church in China will host an international conference with Christian leaders and laity in Lhasa, Tibet. The conference will discuss the issue of abortion and capital punishment. The Church has a pro life and anti capital punishment stance. While both are illegal in China, other countries have one or both legal.
Topics covered will include peaceful activism, education, lobbying government and pastoral care for expecting mothers.
|| ALEXANDRIA TIMES ||
Est. 1927
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| DOMESTIC |
Grégoire Poitou dead!
Grégoire Poitou, Egypt's Former Prime Minister and erstwhile leader of the recently disbanded Social Democrats, was sentenced to jail for thirty years on charges of sexual assault against several minors, and connections to alleged Ephyro-Egyptian human trafficking rings operating in South Sudan and Lybia. The reaction to this scandal was nationwide disgust, with many considering that the punishment was far from sufficient. It has also served to reopened dialogue about the reinstatement of the death sentence and other punitive measures against serious crimes.
Before Grégoire Poitou could testify before the court about the nature of these supposed human trafficking rings, though, he committed suicide on his cell in the middle of suicide watch. The security cameras blacked out for several minutes, due to a strange technical glitch, which allowed the former PM to take his life.
| IN OTHER NEWS...|
1. Dog meat consumption in Egypt: A new fad?
2. Crown Prince François-Ferdinand's pet dog goes missing.
3. Prime Minister Lucien Hajjar pledges to loosen gun ownership restrictions.
4. The collapse of the Egyptian left: How Radames Rosier of the newly-founded Furry Party became the Leader of the Opposition.
5. Azer Podcast's new trending hastag conspiracy theory: #GrégoirePoitouDidntKillHimself.
The Nile
Reporting Egypt's most relevant news since 2015!
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Domestic
The Conservative Party splits, new government is formed
The Social Democratic Party's collapse and split has been followed by a similar happening among the ranks of Egypt's Conservative Party, as the nation's traditional parties face a crisis of legitimacy. With the party evenly splitting in half between the remnants of the Egyptian Conservative party, and the newly-founded Libertarian Party.
A new centrist coalition, led by Prime Minister Lucien Hajjar, has been formed between the Libertarian (lead by the PM), Green and Republican parties. Achieving a very thin majority in the Paglaumian parliament. During his time in the Conservative Party, Hajjar was widely known as a maverick, going against his own party's views to attempt to resurrect the failed Egalitarian Marriage Bill.
With the coming elections, the fate of the Kingdom of Egypt is uncertain. Many, this author included, have come to believe that Hajjar is the best suited candidate to quell the rise of the Egyptian far-right.
Prince Louis Lemnos: Egypt's far right peril
Prince Louis Lemnos, second in line for the Egyptian throne and half-brother of Crown Prince François-Ferdinand, has created nationwide stir by joining the far-right ENRM (Egyptian National Regeneration Movement) party. Despite many recommendations against this, and this being considered unusual, there is technically no law preventing anyone in the Royal Family other than the Queen herself from exercising public office in the country. Even if it is, indeed, highly unusual.
While the Egyptian National Regeneration Movement's former leader, Halim Azer, is facing a prison sentence in 
Nordamy due to supporting seditionist and secesionist movenets in Taiwan. The ENRM's dangerous ideas have spread like wildfire throughout the country, and a new unifying figure in the form of the rogue Prince might prove the worst combination possible in these conditions. Already, there are rumours of talks between the remaining hardline wing of the Conservative party and the ENRM, for a potential merge in the incoming elections.
In other news...
1. The case against continued Egyptian occupation of South Sudan: Slavery, war crimes and apartheid.
2. The tale of a brave Ephyral feminist.
3. The Furry Party, and how Radames Rosier (also known as Lord Anubis) became a national icon.
4. Review of "The Modern State: Why Egypt must get on with times", pro-republican book written by Lucien Hajjar.
THE EPHYRAL MESSENGER | Printed 19th March 2036
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Spike in female Chinese tourists prompts curiosity...
In the tourist hotspots of Selia and a number of the larger cities in Ephyra, there has been an observed rise in tourism from the Far East, particularly China, as its citizens fly into the Freehold to observe its most popular tourist attractions, such as our many historical ruins and sites, modern temples and arches and columns, as well as the natural beauty of our homeland. Speculation has risen however of a more curious motive behind these visits, inspired by the Prime Minister of China, Bo Ling Chen. Ms. Bo entered news in both China and Ephyra two years ago, following her visit to our country and formal meeting with both the Senate and the archons. She stayed, as invited, at the villa of then archon Kalemnos Kelerios Amandos, to build and reinforce a more personal friendship between the two countries as symbolised by their leaders. In China, political opponents of Ms. Bo attempted to use as scandal the subsequent news that the night she had spent in the villa of archon Amandos had not been in her own provided room, but in the room of the archon's son, Volesos Kelerios Amandos.
Pro-government Chinese media, the Chinese public generally, and the Ephyral public all expressed general indifference to this liaison between the foreign PM and the archon's son, for various reasons. The apparent assent to their relationship by Ms. Bo's party, the Chinese indifference to Ms. Bo acting with her body as she wishes, and our own acceptance of the tendency of young men to pursue and enjoy foreign women in their years before marriage, are the reasons behind the speculations to more intimate motivations for Chinese travel.
The majority of these tourists are, apparently, female, and it has been reported that many of these young women will loiter in the busy public squares and forums, ostensibly lost, and attract the attention of similarly aged men of Ephyra. What then begins as an offer or a request to be shown the best tourist sites in the local area may develop into something more close and intimate.
The Messenger managed to interview one young man, native to the western Selian town of Skilion, whose nearby ruins of its ancient site have been popular for many years. "They've been around more since the end of January," the man said, remaining unnamed, "They just seem to flock to the local forum, and either stand and wait, wander around aimlessly, or purposefully bump into men they find attractive. Then they act very shy and reserved, and prompt you to show the initiative." When asked if he had received such attention, the man confirmed. "Twice. The first one seemed very happy about having a Selian boyfriend, and we spent her week here together. She's gone home now but we have each other's details. The second was far less interested in anything committed. Not two days after she left my bed, I saw her here again."
Though the exotic arrivals seem to be fuelling the pride of many a young man, some elderly citizens are less enthusiastic. "Foreign harlots, the lot of them." Said one citizen, who freely gave his name as Kykhos Dekirios Antila, a local in the south Selian town of Myona. "How long before their own men follow and try to seduce our own daughters? The young men of this country should be turning their attention to becoming suitable husbands for virtuous Ephyral girls, not chasing eastern whores."
Regardless, the tourism is expected to rise in the summer, and bring many more Chinese nationals with it.
Mostly a meme post by the way.
Xinhua News
The Truth Will Set You Free
Domestic
Korea Joins Republic
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Previously, Korea was a territory of Nihon. Recently the Korean National Liberation Party, a Kuomintang party made up of Koreans, took power in a local election and voted to join China. The President of the State of Korea, Moon Jong in, issued a statement
"In past regimes, we suffered at the hand of despots both here and abroad. Our latest menace was the Nihonese Imperialists and the Barbarian Communists. Our party is founded on the Three Principles of Sun Yat Sen and our cultures similar. We are cousin groups and it is important that we stick together in these tough times"
This is Eph.
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