The Republic of Ralphburg is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Ralph J Russell with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and national health service. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 9.3 billion Ralphburgers are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ralphburg. The average income tax rate is 15.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ralphburgian economy, worth a remarkable 2,523 trillion Dogecoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 271,320 Dogecoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Executions are marked by quiet dignity and maybe a final round or two of whist, public executions just aren't the cheery spectacles they once were, the government has declared its commitment to multilateralism, and populations of two-headed big smoldogs have been found around recently-uncovered archaeological sites. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ralphburg's national animal is the big smoldog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Ralphburg is ranked 278,303^rd in the world and 5,268^th in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 6.96 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.