by Max Barry

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The Ongoing State of Absentia

“We Are A Bush. Move Along.”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Good

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: CDW Federation

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Absentia

Population37.634 billion

CapitalThe Middle of Nowhere
Leaderyouse

Currencyerg
Animalcambot

The Ongoing State of Absentia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by youse with an even hand, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, smutty television, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 37.634 billion Absentians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The tiny, corrupt government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Administration, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Middle of Nowhere. The average income tax rate is 2.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Absentian economy, worth an astonishing 19,823 trillion ergs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 526,736 ergs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Anyone who so much as frowns risks being referred to a mental health unit, relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly, hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock", and the delay between passed legislation and real world implementation is often a decade or longer. Crime is totally unknown. Absentia's national animal is the cambot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Absentia is ranked 207,831st in the world and 1st in CDW Federation for Most Primitive, scoring -2507.5 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Top
1%
Most Secular: 2ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 2ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 4thSmartest Citizens: 11thHighest Poor Incomes: 63rdHighest Economic Output: 76thHighest Disposable Incomes: 101stHealthiest Citizens: 133rdMost Developed: 157thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 171stLongest Average Lifespans: 179thLargest Populations: 226thHighest Average Incomes: 233rdMost Inclusive: 297thMost Efficient Economies: 317thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 448thMost Rebellious Youth: 450thRudest Citizens: 526thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 528thLargest Publishing Industry: 620thMost Beautiful Environments: 699thLargest Black Market: 810thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,122ndMost Stationary: 1,196thLargest Governments: 1,294thLargest Retail Industry: 1,380thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,811thMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,008thTop
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 2,097thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,673rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,340thSafest: 4,016thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,177thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,286thMost Cultured: 4,419thMost Pacifist: 7,461stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8,165thLowest Crime Rates: 8,747thMost Influential: 8,806thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,815thTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 14,135th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, the delay between passed legislation and real world implementation is often a decade or longer.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock".
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, anyone who so much as frowns risks being referred to a mental health unit.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, they say that Absentians made a dessert and called it peace.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, a new "thought police" branch is being developed.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, from the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in Absentia.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, third world countries are rich in "I Love The Middle Of Nowhere" t-shirts.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election".

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