The Holy Chronicle of Astinus is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Bertram with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, hatred of cheese, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.362 billion Astinusians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Palanthas. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Astinusian economy, worth a remarkable 1,289 trillion Steels a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Gambling, Retail, and Soda Sales. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 137,749 Steels, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 427,961 per year while the poor average 34,113, a ratio of 12.5 to 1.

Bertram has killer fashion sense, odysseying merchant sailors swear that they've heard sirens in the western seas, one does not simply walk into the tundra, and government policy is dictated by a major religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Astinus's national animal is the Scribe, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Astinus is ranked 289,615^th in the world and 4^th in The Library for Highest Food Quality, scoring 3.72 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.