The Republic of Carznelia is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its closed borders, smutty television, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.646 billion Carznelians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 74.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Carznelian economy, worth a remarkable 1,943 trillion Evil Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 292,367 Evil Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Unpopular cops are fired at a moment's notice by the citizens they police, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, people boast about their low income on their dating profiles, and 4-year-olds studying for their mathematics exams are anxious that they will be unemployable in adulthood if they fail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Carznelia's national animal is the Dodo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Carznelia is ranked 284,720^th in the world and 91^st in Worlds of Colors for Most Primitive, scoring -430.47 on the Scary Big Number Scale.