The Sovereign Federation of Celtic Wessex is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Lord Robert and Lady Margaret Montgomery with a fair hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 28.411 billion Wessex Celts are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Aldhelm-upon-Torinch. The average income tax rate is 66.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Celtic Wessexian economy, worth a remarkable 4,275 trillion Celtic RC£s a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 150,472 Celtic RC£s, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

In musicals everybody's a little bit racist, one tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, and doctors who mutter "Oh my God" often lose their medical license. Crime is totally unknown. Celtic Wessex's national animal is the red fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Celtic Wessex is ranked 59,064^th in the world and 4^th in House of Lancaster of Wessex for Lowest Crime Rates, with 71.98 law-abiding acts per hour.