The Armed Republic of CR99 is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.712 billion CR99ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 85.2%.

The frighteningly efficient CR99ian economy, worth 891 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 156,071 cards, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

The wheel has been patented by at least a hundred people, nine-year-olds' chat logs are scoured for evidence of radicalization, stale 'yo mamma' insults have been replaced by 'your maternal DNA' insults, and blind dates reemerge as a necessary evil in the quest for love. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. CR99's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

CR99 is ranked 265,347^th in the world and 2,283^rd in Two for Most Primitive, scoring -209.39 on the Scary Big Number Scale.