The Beating Heart of Davey Jones is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Davey Jones with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, unlimited-speed roads, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 24.093 billion Davey Jonesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Welfare isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heart. The average income tax rate is 64.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Davey Jonesian economy, worth 666 trillion Hearts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 27,652 Hearts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Abortions are routinely performed in Davey Jones's hospitals, torture is commonly used to extract information from suspected criminals, midnight pizza breaks are common among the work-from-home population, and Davey Jones has designated Heart as its capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Davey Jones's national animal is the crow, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities, and its national religion is The Skull.

Davey Jones is ranked 112,203^rd in the world and 84^th in Hell for Lowest Crime Rates, with 64.44 law-abiding acts per hour.