by Max Barry

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Hell RMB
Hell was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 197

WA Delegate: The Mad King of Hell of The Stalker (elected )

Founder: Satan

Last WA Update:

World Factbook Entry

We are the demons that haunt your dreams and feed on your soul. Ye who enter, abandon all hope...
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? LinkLet’s go take a howl at that moon.
Hellions should join the WA and endorse the LinkKing of Hell The Stalker.

Hell Radio: LinkLosing My Religion

LinkThrough me Linkyou go into a Linkcity of weeping,
LinkThrough me Linkyou go into Linketernal pain,
LinkThrough me Linkyou go amongst Linkthe lost people.

Hell's Bells

Nations seeking to enter Hell,
Must first
Linktravel to the Underworld,
And undergo
The Trials to earn their passage.

When the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent,
Called the Devil and Satan, he who deceiveth the whole world,
He was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him...

  1. 66

    The Kingdom of Hell

    FactbookOverview by The Stalker . 2,767 reads.

  2. 37

    Department of the Seven Sins

    FactbookOverview by The Stalker . 1,064 reads.

Embassies: Underworld, the Rejected Realms, the West Pacific, the South Pacific, The Bar on the corner of every region, Antarctic Oasis, Mordor, Philosophy 115, Middle Earth, Hippy Haven, The Atheist Empire, Zombieland, Heaven, Exodus, A Liberal Haven, Glass Gallows, and 23 others.Solid Kingdom, The Satanic Cathedral, New York, The Red Empire of the Toad, Trav khar, The Order of the Grey Wardens, The Iceberg Lounge, Game of Thrones, Christmas, Citadel of Ricks, Warzone Asia, Warzone Europe, The Cuckoos Egg, Abydos, Avadam Inn, Fort Triumph, ravana, Japan, LGBT University, Lazarus, Atlantis, Thaecia, and Chinchillawater Republic.

Tags: Commended, Featured, Founderless, Large, Password, Snarky, and Surreal.

Regional Power: High

Hell contains 53 nations, the 320th most in the world.


Today's World Census Report

The Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector in Hell

World Census analysts extensively tested concept muscle cars in empty parking lots in order to estimate which nations have the largest auto industries.

As a region, Hell is ranked 1,439th in the world for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Free Land of Impending DamnationAnarchy“Freedom from authority; freedom from accountability”
2.The Slow Loud Breathers of DonkervaderIron Fist Consumerists“All your planets are belong to us!”
3.The Evil Mad Scientists of FreddlandIron Fist Consumerists“Hmmm...That wasn't supposed to happen.”
4.The Satanic Empire of Big Jim PFather Knows Best State“Hell knows what Heaven only suspects. Hail Satan.”
5.The Unholy Black Empire of Buer the DemonCorporate Police State“Professor of Philosophy and Insufferable Know-It-All”
6.The Pub of Cynical AlcoholicsInoffensive Centrist Democracy“So it goes.”
7.The Cold Heart of Neon FrostCivil Rights Lovefest“All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie.”
8.The Wall of WerGodCorporate Police State“The laddie reckons himself a poet!”
9.The Evil Eye of WatchinCompulsory Consumerist State“Remember the titans”
10.The Anti-Harry Potter Prison of Eta CarinaePsychotic Dictatorship“Anyone caught with Harry Potter will be EXECUTED!”

Regional Happenings


Hell Regional Message Board

Auphelia wrote:And yet I just waltz in every few days to let you know about my fabulous polls. Speaking of . . .

A very topical poll. Enjoy!


Sounds rough.

How about we just give you a little "tithe" and call it a day?

Fabulous polls indeed.

Yodoshi wrote:Only because Embassy Posting is allowed. :P

Oh hush now, you know it's because I'm undeniably fabulous.

eternal condemnation is boring
get modern warfare

also i have popchips

Hello friends from Hell. We, from Middle Earth have some amazing news that we thought to share with you as well.

UPDATE 00 for the Middle Earth Roleplay has been posted !

Thanks to all that made this possible. There are also some spots still free on the map, if you wish to join.

Please feel free to check it out at the following link:


More info:


Nothing to post from earlier updates as the roleplay just started!

What has been done until this update :

Nothing to post from earlier updates as the roleplay just started!

The Map of Middle Earth Roleplay - Update 00:
The Map of this Update can be found LinkHERE.
** IF you want to check out the other updates, go LinkHERE **


    • Kingdom's Name: Broken Tooth Tribe

    • NS Player: Dwarf

    • RP nation: Wild Hunt

    • Race: Orcs

    • Leader: Snicklefritz

    • Hero: type D, Snicklefritz (same as Leader)

    • NS Stats: -5% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Horse Plains (C), Upper Nurn

    • Armies under command: 3000 Orcs in Horse Plains (with Hero)

    • Kingdom's Name: Clan Frostbeard

    • NS Player: Dwarven Mines

    • RP nation: Clan Frostbeard

    • Race: Dwarves

    • Leader: Dralvik II

    • Hero: type D, Balur

    • NS Stats: +10% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Forochel (C), River Lhun

    • Armies under command: 1000 Dwarves in Forochel (with Hero)

    • Kingdom's Name: Elvea-Falasse

    • NS Player: Kingdom of the Unicorn 02

    • RP nation: Elvea-Falasse

    • Race: Elves

    • Leader: Cirdan

    • Hero: type D, Gannoriel

    • NS Stats: +5% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Northern Lindon, Mithlond (C)

    • Armies under command: 1000 Elves in Mithlond (with Hero)

    • Kingdom's Name: Empire of Coldvar

    • NS Player: New Margaux

    • RP nation: New Margaux

    • Race: Humans

    • Leader: Nikolai Nāves

    • Hero: type D, Nikolai Nāves (same as Leader)

    • NS Stats: +10% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Andrast (C), Anfalas

    • Armies under command: 2000 Humans in Andrast (with Hero)

    • Kingdom's Name: Rohan || ** Not currently playing **

    • NS Player: Echoriath

    • RP nation: ** no RP nation yet! **

    • Race: Humans

    • Leader: Theoden

    • Hero: type A, Theoden (same as Leader)

    • NS Stats: +0% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Anorien, Rohan (C)

    • Armies under command: 2000 Humans in Rohan (with Hero)

    • Kingdom's Name: The Defender's Fjord

    • NS Player: Wille-Harlia

    • RP nation: -Wille-Harlia-

    • Race: Dwarves

    • Leader: King Alexius Comnenus

    • Hero: type C, Erasmus Dragonsword

    • NS Stats: +10% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Iron Hills, Withered Heath (C)

    • Armies under command: 1000 Dwarves in Withered Heath (with Hero)

    • Kingdom's Name: (NPC) Etyangoldi Alliance

    • Race: Elves

    • Leader: Curufinwe Fallenstar

    • Regions under command: (3) : Cardolan, Dunland, Hollin (C)

    • Armies under command: 800 Elves in Hollin

    • Kingdom's Name: (NPC) The Variag Order

    • Race: Humans

    • Leader: Ulwarth the First

    • Regions under command: (2) : Near Harad, Sutherland (C)

    • Armies under command: 1600 Humans in Sutherland

    • Kingdom's Name: (NPC) The Woodland Enclave

    • Race: Dwarves

    • Leader: Barazturg (female)

    • Regions under command: (3) : Hearth of Mirkwood, Western Mirkwood (C), Woodland Realm

    • Armies under command: 800 Dwarves in Western Mirkwood

    • Kingdom's Name: (NPC) Trollshaw Realm

    • Race: Orcs

    • Leader: Torogok

    • Regions under command: (3) : Ettenmoors (C), Rhudaur, Upper Rhudaur

    • Armies under command: 2400 Orcs in Ettenmoors

    • Kingdom's Name: N/A

    • Kingdom's Name: N/A

    • Kingdom's Name: N/A

    • Kingdom's Name: N/A


  • Broken Tooth Tribe

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • Clan Frostbeard

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • Elvea-Falasse

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • Empire of Coldvar

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • Rohan

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • The Defender's Fjord

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (NPC) Etyangoldi Alliance

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (NPC) The Variag Order

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (NPC) The Woodland Enclave

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (NPC) Trollshaw Realm

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (Unfilled Slot)

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (Unfilled Slot)

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (Unfilled Slot)

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

Wars status throughout the realm:

  • Nothing happened so far !
    (The Roleplay just started ..)

RANKING: Most Provinces Controlled:

- (1st): (NPC) Etyangoldi Alliance (3 of 7)
- (2nd): (NPC) The Woodland Enclave (3 of 7)
- (3rd): (NPC) Trollshaw Realm (3 of 7)
- (NPC) The Variag Order (2 of 5)
- (Player) Broken Tooth Tribe (2 of 5)
- (Player) Clan Frostbeard (2 of 5)
- (Player) Elvea-Falasse (2 of 5)
- (Player) Empire of Coldvar (2 of 5)
- (Player) Rohan (2 of 5)
- (Player) The Defender's Fjord (2 of 5)
- (Unfilled Slot)
- (Unfilled Slot)
- (Unfilled Slot)
- (Unfilled Slot)

NPC talk and decisions of this update:

Etyangoldi Alliance:
The land of the Etyangoldi Alliance is quite mysterious to the outsider, as there is not a lot of information regarding them. The reasons for this are currently unknown. What is known, however, are the following.

The lands of Etyangoldi Alliance are rumored to hold great treasures, artifacts and even some enchanted items. The ruler of this kingdom is an elf of royal bloodline, named Curufinwe Fallenstar. He is very charismatic, a true demagogue, knowledgeable in the art of war and has a reputation for being cunning, self-absorbed and even resentful. Quick to anger and easily provoked, he is rumored to often employ unorthodox (unconventional) tactics and to have little care for the lives of those under his command when he sets a goal in mind. In the same time, the armies of the Etyangoldi Alliance are elite, not necessarily due to their personal prowess in battle but rather due to some top tier armor and quality weapons.

Curufinwe Fallenstar and the bulk of his army was last known to be found in the province of Hollin, the capitol of the Etyangoldi Alliance. They are resting there after the successful conquest of Cardolan from the descendant kings of Numenor.

No army movements


The Variag Order:
The many clans of Southern Mordor have, apparently, united under Ulwarth the First, ruler of the Variag Order. A legitimate claim for unification in this part of the world is usually related to how big your sword is, how far can you swing it and by how many die before you. And Ulwarth is shy in no aspect; he rules the clans with an iron fist and is sure to provoke some serious damage. So, now, with the clans united he looks elsewhere to increase his gain. And the only way is up.

But walking on a path of war and death may not be sufficient in these greener pastures of the world. Allies can prove to be a necessary evil, at least for securing a front; be it northern, eastern or western. Important decisions are to be made. Until then, Ulwarth the First and his armies reside at the capitol, Sutherland, and have sent a few messages.

"To the kingdom of Rohan,

This is in part a notice and a demand. The free folk, under my rule, wish riches and wish land. Here, we lack both riches and land. As such, we are expanding. You can be our allies or you can be our enemies.

The Variag Order"


"To the empire of Coldvar,

The Variag Order salutes you. Some southern kings left our lands for Andrast, Belfalas and Anfalas, and I'm sure you're a descendant of one of them as the blood of a southernern runs through your veins. Or I hope it does, for if it does not, then it means that my folk perished to the blade of your folk. And if such a case is true, then I must seek retribution.

I hope not, as my plans are to expand and I wish to have allies that I can trust. Or enemies that are worth my blade.
What say you?"

and, finally, one last message.

"To the ruler of the Broken Tooth Tribe, Snicklefritz,

I hope that this message reaches you in good omens. My folks and your folks surely fought alongside, at one point in the distant past, around the plains of Mordor. Now, its up for the taking. What are your goals, your desires, your plans? Are you interested in reigniting some sort of lost connection between the freefolks of Khand and Sutherland and the orcs and goblins? Or are you decided to take glory in your own hands and test the waters? I warn you, they're quite muddy.

Hope you get the meaning of my message. Understanding or a good fight. For Nurn, for Mordor, and, why not, for the rest of Middle Earth. Or the seeds of an alliance, a bigger clan and glory for the both of us.

No army movements
Send a message to the Kingdom of Rohan, discussing cooperation, non-aggression or a sentiment of war
Send a message to the Empire of Coldvar, discussing cooperation, non-aggression or a sentiment of war
Send a message to the Broken Tooth Tribe, discussing cooperation, non-aggression or a sentiment of war


The Woodland Enclave:
If you're not a dwarf then you would not believe it if you were not to see it with your own eyes; but if you were to see it with your own eyes, you wouldn't be able to speak about it afterwards - as you'd either be dead, have your tongue and eyes cut out, or, if you're lucky, you'd be working for the rest of your life in the harsh mines of the Iron Hills.

I'm talking about the dwarf queen of the Woodland Enclave, Barazturg. The name means 'red beard' in the popular language but few would assume that its a female they're referring to. Yet here she is, in all her glory, at the spearhead of a dwarf battalion; beautiful contraptions, war machines and heavily armored warriors wielding powerful rune weapons and skirmishers proficient in crossbows and axe-trowing, their ever-lasting loyalty to the cause and to their queen makes for a powerful foe or a sturdy ally.

Alone, isolated in the woods, the Woodland Enclave slowly grows in power. But the craving for an united dwarf front is still a powerful cog in the dwarf mindset so Barazturg plans to try to connect with other dwarves. As such, she sends a few emissaries to other places of Middle Earth, namely to the Iron Hills, to the Grey Mountains, to the High Pass and to Moria, to Forochel and to the Blue Mountains. She wonders if there are any dwarves residing in these lands ...

No army movements
Send emissaries with gifts to the Iron Hills, the Grey Mountains, to the High Pass, to Moria, to Forochel and to Blue Mountains.
* emissaries can reach the Iron Hills and Forochel if the players that own those provinces want to


Trollshaw Realm:
Ettenmoors and Rhudaur are known to be desolate marshes, woodlands and mountains filled with dark creatures, and as such many castles and towers were built on top of hills all around the realm by the good folk wishing to protect themselves against the perils of the land. But without a good coordination, a central power or at least an influencial noble to keep the reigns and assume some sort of command, bad things happen.

And in this case, those bad things had a name. Trolls. Trolls. Trolls. Big trolls. Trolls smash. And not long after, the built towers were just a pile of cracked bricks and the castles of Rhudaur looked much like small stone ruins, a reminder of old times. But these trolls are not just smash and smash and smash. You can say that they're quite smart. Especially this particular troll, Torogok. Not a big talker, but a real do-er. He realized that instead of eating folk they could thrall folk. And make the folk fight for them. Or be eaten if they refuse, of course. There's no glory in being eaten (not to mention that its quite gruesome) but there's some glory in a death on the battlefields.

Trolls, with the help of slaves, captives and servants, managed to have a good hold on Ettenmoors and Rhudaur and are now planning to expand.

There's just a small issue. Torogok the troll heard from some captives that there's a king to the South that may prove to be a small nuisance. And why fight a kingdom when you can continue to smash around, own townsfolk and conquer more land? After all, its quite nice to be a troll and not be a thrall but own a thrall.

"Send a message to the elf Curufinwe", Torogok said to one of his human servant (that appears to be quite healthy, well fed and with all his limbs still attached).
"Glory to the Etyangoldi Alliance,
The trolls of Ettenmoors salute you.
We have no quarrels with you.
You're good folk."

"And be back quickly. Or else ...", Torogok added to his servant, before to get his dinner.

No army movements
Send a message to Etyangoldi Alliance about a non-aggression pact.


Read dispatch

Click clack moo, you old cow!


I need to stop by here more often and cleanse this chat! What kind of failed priest am I?

Post by Poland can into spacees other accounts suppressed by a moderator.


Fellow United States Citizens,

As many of you are aware, the fourth of July has been known to us as independence day. We sometimes forget that after the declaration of independence was unanimously ratified by thirteen English colonies it took five years of battle and unto the siege of Yorktown to become thirteen independent American states. It took a further seven years to become united under a social contract that was ratified then by majority. Nearly nine decades needed to elapse and hundreds of thousands of lives shed before an unalienable right to liberty expressed by words written in 1776 would be granted to those in racial bondage. One-hundred and eighty-eight years needed to pass from this day two-hundred and forty-four years ago and more blood needed to be spilt before equality would be made law!

Twelve score and four years have transpired since radical men declared they had had enough of a tyrant and the effects of his severity. Since then, all people from abroad have sought these lands to pursue courses paved by dreams whose destinations lead toward intrinsic happiness. Those fortunate to be born within our political boundaries have never known the developing world's oppression. We few natives have not known systemic violence, rampant disease, public racial alienation, nor oligarchy; that is; until now.

Taxation has become unfair and favors the rich while burdening the poor. Scandal has corrupted sacred halls of democratic sovereignty. Bourgeois corporate despotism has become the status quo of executive power while legislators, public servants, are the marionettes of special interests. Public administration is now a commodity to be traded as a stock at market. Police are now the most distrusted, most despised, most ill reputed arm of justice. Our institutions of education and mental health have closed their doors to our children and to ourselves. The courts are politicized and biased by wealth or ethnicity. The prisons grow and grow and grow as an infection aided by privatization. A woman can no longer take her child to a theater, nor a store, nor an event without the fear of a mass shooting. A loaf of bread and a gallon of milk is five times the cost of acquisition over a period of 4 months. Food shortage threaten the most insecure of us with death. And racial tensions between us have caused our own citizens to fragment and form exclusive groups that alienate each other.

Fellow citizens, our country resembles more a pit in hell than a shining city upon a hill. It is no longer a desired destination nor a beacon of hope to the oppressed, hungry, and suffering of the world. Why then celebrate this day!? Why shoot your guns and fireworks merrily when all that was fought for for over two hundred years has been lost? Today, 4th of July in 2020 is not a day to party. It is a day to mourn the dying ideals of a declaration whose causes and purposes have reemerged in our midst. I am sad today, friends, because our American dream is turning into a nightmare.

Unfortunately, Eurovision 2020 was cancelled. Fortunately, that doesn’t mean we have to wait a year for some lovely songs. Enter Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga. Helmed by the comedian Will Ferrell and the always brilliant Rachel McAdams, this film not only gave a touch of silliness, but several excellent (mostly fictional) songs to assuage the agony of going an entire year without ruthlessly tearing down other nations (“Arcade” should never have won) have been granted to us. The only question now is this: which song reigns supreme?


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