by Max Barry

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The Free Democratic State of Ear Exploder 9000

“Protect thy ears” Imperator Joe Average XIII

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: 10000 Islands


Ear Exploder 9000

Population2.12 billion

LeaderImperator Joe Average XIII

AnimalJoeaveragian Pike

The Free Democratic State of Ear Exploder 9000 is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Imperator Joe Average XIII with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, prohibition of alcohol, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.12 billion Earexplodians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cacophonia. The average income tax rate is 76.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Earexplodian economy, worth 374 trillion Decibels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 176,838 Decibels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The nation tends not to learn from its history, the nation is committed to nuclear rearmament, high-tech infantry rifles automatically reload when the soldier shoots outside the screen of their helmet HUD, and infantry are nicknamed "mushrooms" because they get fed crap and are left in the dark. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ear Exploder 9000's national animal is the Joeaveragian Pike, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Joeism.

Ear Exploder 9000 is ranked 244,103rd in the world and 1,322nd in 10000 Islands for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring -6.84 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 778thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,563rdMost Secular: 1,819thMost Patriotic: 2,010thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,067thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3,221stMost Influential: 3,575thMost Avoided: 4,493rdMost Corrupt Governments: 6,113thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,188thLargest Black Market: 6,199thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,095thLargest Mining Sector: 7,744thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,412thHighest Poor Incomes: 8,924thHighest Average Incomes: 10,489thTop
Most Armed: 14,054thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 14,545thMost Efficient Economies: 14,958thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 16,718thMost Scientifically Advanced: 17,925thMost Developed: 18,278thLargest Governments: 18,350thMost Authoritarian: 19,180thHighest Average Tax Rates: 19,293rdMost Conservative: 20,076thLongest Average Lifespans: 22,310thLargest Information Technology Sector: 24,139th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 5th in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16th in the regionMost Patriotic: 22nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 26th in the regionMost Secular: 41st in the regionMost Avoided: 52nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 53rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 65th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 70th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 71st in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 86th in the regionMost Conservative: 88th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 93rd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 96th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 99th in the regionMost Armed: 125th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 138th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: