The Free Democratic State of Ear Exploder 9000 is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Imperator Joe Average XIII with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, prohibition of alcohol, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.12 billion Earexplodians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cacophonia. The average income tax rate is 76.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Earexplodian economy, worth 374 trillion Decibels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 176,838 Decibels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The nation tends not to learn from its history, the nation is committed to nuclear rearmament, high-tech infantry rifles automatically reload when the soldier shoots outside the screen of their helmet HUD, and infantry are nicknamed "mushrooms" because they get fed crap and are left in the dark. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ear Exploder 9000's national animal is the Joeaveragian Pike, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Joeism.

Ear Exploder 9000 is ranked 244,103^rd in the world and 1,322^nd in 10000 Islands for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring -6.84 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.