by Max Barry

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The Most Earexplodian Realm of Ear Exploder 9000

“Protect Thine Ears” Emperor Joseph Average XVIII

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Nipper

Location: Refugia

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Ear Exploder 9000

Population10.94 billion

CapitalCacophonia
LeaderEmperor Joseph Average XVIII
FaithJoeism

Currencydecibel
AnimalJoeaveragian Pike

The Most Earexplodian Realm of Ear Exploder 9000 is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Joseph Average XVIII with an iron fist, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 10.94 billion Earexplodians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cacophonia. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Earexplodian economy, worth a remarkable 3,454 trillion decibels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 315,808 decibels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security, foreign leaders who don't applaud Emperor Joseph Average XVIII's speeches are regarded as enemies of Ear Exploder 9000, Emperor Joseph Average XVIII's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site, and the Cacophonia State Museum is said to be haunted by ghastly musicians playing 'Nearer Violet to Thee'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ear Exploder 9000's national animal is the Joeaveragian Pike, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Joeism.

Ear Exploder 9000 is ranked 147,975th in the world and 73rd in Refugia for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 789.19 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 82ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 178thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 326thMost Valuable International Artwork: 980thMost Patriotic: 1,092ndMost Secular: 1,619thLargest Black Market: 1,770thHighest Average Incomes: 2,638thTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 3,202ndMost Avoided: 3,764thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,921stLargest Governments: 5,026thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,203rdLargest Mining Sector: 6,681stHighest Poor Incomes: 6,942ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7,068thRudest Citizens: 7,196thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,577thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,678thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,829thHighest Economic Output: 7,976thMost Scientifically Advanced: 8,471stMost Efficient Economies: 12,919thMost Developed: 12,952ndMost Armed: 13,452ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 15,175thTop
10%
Longest Average Lifespans: 18,128thMost Advanced Public Education: 20,605thSmartest Citizens: 23,804th
Top
1%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Avoided: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionMost Conservative: 7th in the regionMost Secular: 8th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 8th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8th in the regionTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 12th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 13th in the regionRudest Citizens: 13th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 14th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 17th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 20th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 22nd in the region

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