The Dominion of Eastern Healthists is a massive, safe nation, ruled by The Prime Foodie with an iron fist, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, complete lack of prisons, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 2.07 billion Eastern Healthists are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Underground Citadel City. The average income tax rate is 16.9%.

The frighteningly efficient East-Healtherstian economy, worth 328 trillion Cowries a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 158,670 Cowries, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

A cat may look at a king and a dude can look at an ass, people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares, the military frequently holds bake sales to raise funds, and no animal is considered endangered if there's another that looks kind of like it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eastern Healthists's national animal is the Black Labrador, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Eastern Healthists is ranked 38,145^th in the world and 631^st in the Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 78.62 law-abiding acts per hour.