The Republic of Floor Function is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, keen interest in outer space, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.126 billion Floor Functionians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 44.4%.

The powerhouse Floor Functionian economy, worth 539 trillion numbers a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Information Technology. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 105,281 numbers, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

The government is spending billions of taxpayer numbers to support "struggling" industries, the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks, and masterpieces by male artists are on display in the dumpsters behind the gallery. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Floor Function's national animal is the math, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Floor Function is ranked 233,020^th in the world and 279^th in Empire of Love for Most Primitive, scoring -112.11 on the Scary Big Number Scale.