by Max Barry

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The OMG it's so humid of Frizzed out Hair

“Brown hair, amazing brains, and a plucky smile”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: The Satellite of Love

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Frizzed out Hair

Population28.927 billion

CapitalPerm
LeaderCher

CurrencyComb
AnimalPoodle

The OMG it's so humid of Frizzed out Hair is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Cher with an iron fist, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, national health service, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 28.927 billion Frizzed out Hairians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Perm. The average income tax rate is 43.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Frizzed out Hairian economy, worth a remarkable 3,079 trillion Combs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Retail, Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 106,443 Combs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Government-sponsored gallows are being erected by Violetist temples, the ban on cars has been repealed, a niche industry catering to S&M enthusiasts has sprung up, and citizens volunteer for tax audits to avoid the 80-page Practical Assessment Survey Tool On Religions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Frizzed out Hair's national animal is the Poodle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Frizzed out Hair is ranked 73,473rd in the world and 1st in The Satellite of Love for Most Primitive, scoring 35.1 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Top
5%
Largest Populations: 4,875thLargest Retail Industry: 6,136thLargest Mining Sector: 6,928thHighest Economic Output: 7,098thLargest Black Market: 7,836thFattest Citizens: 8,045thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 9,590thMost Valuable International Artwork: 10,270thMost Stationary: 13,105thLargest Agricultural Sector: 14,460thTop
10%
Most Devout: 14,998thMost Armed: 15,165thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 24,660thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 25,082ndHighest Poor Incomes: 25,192ndMost Avoided: 26,930thMost Influential: 27,059thMost Corrupt Governments: 28,130th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Frizzed out Hair was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Stationary, Largest Black Market, Highest Economic Output, and Most Valuable International Artwork and the Top 10% for Most Influential.
  • : Frizzed out Hair was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Frizzed out Hair was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Stationary.
  • : Frizzed out Hair was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Survivors.
  • : Frizzed out Hair was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Stationary.
  • : Frizzed out Hair's influence in The Satellite of Love fell from "Dominator" to "Eminence Grise".
  • : Frizzed out Hair's influence in The Satellite of Love rose from "Eminence Grise" to "Dominator".
  • : Frizzed out Hair was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Avoided.
  • : Frizzed out Hair was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Developed.
  • : Frizzed out Hair was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Disposable Incomes.

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