The Theocracy of Gods Napkin is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Gods Elect with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.302 billion angels are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Spirituality, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heaven The Place On Earth. The average income tax rate is 76.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The angelic economy, worth 324 trillion leaves a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 61,223 leaves, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Teen boys and girls find stick-figure-aided lectures on their comradestruation emphasises socialist unity more than biology, people invite random old men into their homes to play with their kids, a new apartment is worth a thousand betrayals, and wedding bands come in pairs to form wedding manacles. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gods Napkin's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The One True Religion.

Gods Napkin is ranked 27,459^th in the world and 1,940^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 84.3 law-abiding acts per hour.