by Max Barry

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The Holy Empire of Haedlia

“For the blessed nation!”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: the West Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Haedlia

Population15.53 billion

Currencynewcoin
Animalyellow jacket

The Holy Empire of Haedlia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its closed borders, zero percent divorce rate, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 15.53 billion Haedlians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. The average income tax rate is 99.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Haedlian economy, worth an astonishing 10,838 trillion newcoins a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 697,896 newcoins, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,845,904 per year while the poor average 64,118, a ratio of 60.0 to 1.

Former arms manufacturing CEOs are now delivering food for minimum wage, home education can sometimes be a load of bullocks, the government baselessly accuses foreign dignitaries of being assassins, and concussed yellow jacketball players cannot remember their lineup position. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Haedlia's national animal is the yellow jacket, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Haedlia is ranked 205,643rd in the world and 5,821st in the West Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -71.41 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Mining Sector: 6thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8thMost Corrupt Governments: 14thMost Devout: 15thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 17thMost Ignorant Citizens: 23rdLargest Insurance Industry: 31stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 32ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 39thMost Avoided: 41stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 54thLargest Black Market: 64thMost Primitive: 71stHighest Average Incomes: 73rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 85thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 85thMost Subsidized Industry: 106thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 216thFattest Citizens: 228thLowest Crime Rates: 231stMost Efficient Economies: 241stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 274thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 315thHighest Economic Output: 351stLargest Governments: 364thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 406thRudest Citizens: 629thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,205thTop
5%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 2,568thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,613thMost Stationary: 3,230thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3,915thMost Conservative: 5,457thTop
10%
Most Influential: 11,868thLargest Populations: 12,536thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 12,976thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 15,327thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 15,865thMost Authoritarian: 17,006thMost Advanced Public Education: 18,601st
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionLargest Governments: 5th in the regionFattest Citizens: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15th in the regionRudest Citizens: 17th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 23rd in the regionMost Stationary: 37th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 51st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 51st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 56th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Populations: 99th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 164th in the regionMost Conservative: 197th in the regionTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 346th in the regionMost Influential: 413th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 415th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 520th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, concussed yellow jacketball players cannot remember their lineup position.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, the government baselessly accuses foreign dignitaries of being assassins.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, home education can sometimes be a load of bullocks.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, former arms manufacturing CEOs are now delivering food for minimum wage.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, tax rises are attributed to divine will.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, university graduates and new home-owners toil in labour camps to work off their debts.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, graverobbers claim they're acting within the interest of 'scientific preservation'.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, police and sick people alike fear the Day of Rest as all institutions are forced to shut down.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, children are often punished for the sins of the fathers.

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