The Kingdom of PlanetMercury is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Freddie Mercury with an even hand, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 9.029 billion PlanetMercuries are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kensington. The average income tax rate is 72.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient PlanetMercuryian economy, worth a remarkable 3,064 trillion pounds a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 339,393 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Virtually all of the country's economic activity takes place in Kensington, the government is attempting to impose a new national language on the public, military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies, and prisoners have been known to host cooking and home décor television shows. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PlanetMercury's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

PlanetMercury is ranked 282,061^st in the world and 6,224^th in The North Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 5.22 pounds of wildlife per square mile.