The Empire of Lapplandium is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, zero percent divorce rate, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 460 million Lapplandiumians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kirunium. The average income tax rate is 74.5%.

The strong Lapplandiumian economy, worth 42.5 trillion kronors a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 92,305 kronors, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

The government is well known for declaring war on other countries for suspected slights, the relatives of suicide victims tend to be angry rather than sad, shoppers have literally had their hands full since plastic bags were banned, and a baby's first breath is also a baby's first felony. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lapplandium's national animal is the moose, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Lapplandium is ranked 227,500^th in the world and 5^th in Sweden for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 23,537.81 Standard Monetary Units.