The Republic of Lowelian is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Mr President with a fair hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, smutty television, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 7.425 billion Lowelianians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lowelia. The average income tax rate is 37.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Lowelianian economy, worth 771 trillion Bitcoins a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 103,913 Bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The blood, sweat, and tears of poor Lowelianians make research institutes rich, crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens, airship use has soared while property values beneath their routes have plummeted, and stale 'yo mamma' insults have been replaced by 'your maternal DNA' insults. Crime is totally unknown. Lowelian's national animal is the Puppy, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lowelian is ranked 63,933^rd in the world and 1,564^th in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 97.82 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.