by Max Barry

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The Telegrams need to go to RO's of New Jermany

“Please send telegrams to Regional Officers instead” The Orc who owns the bar

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Average

Regional Influence: Truckler

Location: The Bar on the corner of every region

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

New Jermany

Population10.224 billion

CapitalBöörlin
LeaderThe Orc who owns the bar
FaithDrunkenness

CurrencyHungry Dollar
AnimalMoody Kestrel

The Telegrams need to go to RO's of New Jermany is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by The Orc who owns the bar with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 10.224 billion Jermans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Böörlin. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 11.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Jerman economy, worth a remarkable 1,120 trillion Hungry Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an impressive 109,590 Hungry Dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 907,376 per year while the poor average 2,689, a ratio of 337 to 1.

The Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters, randomly bombing neighboring countries has become the new national sport, labour strikes are routinely squashed by police, and Drunkenness has been named as New Jermany's national religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. New Jermany's national animal is the Moody Kestrel, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Drunkenness.

New Jermany is ranked 22,907th in the world and 12th in The Bar on the corner of every region for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 4,912.65 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 795thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,790thTop
5%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 2,173rdLargest Gambling Industry: 3,461stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,747thMost Armed: 4,348thFattest Citizens: 5,107thHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,751stMost Avoided: 8,852ndTop
10%
Most Rebellious Youth: 11,108thMost Stationary: 14,685thHighest Economic Output: 15,010thHighest Drug Use: 16,139thMost Pro-Market: 17,407thMost Influential: 19,991stLargest Retail Industry: 20,173rd
Top
5%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 2nd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6th in the regionMost Stationary: 6th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : New Jermany changed its national nation type to "Telegrams need to go to RO's".
  • : New Jermany changed its national demonym adjective to "Jerman".
  • : New Jermany changed its national motto to "Please send telegrams to Regional Officers instead".
  • : New Jermany was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Rebellious Youth.
  • : New Jermany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Black Market.
  • : New Jermany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Efficient Economies.
  • : New Jermany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Crime Rates and Most Secular.
  • : New Jermany was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Rebellious Youth.
  • : New Jermany was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Retail Industry.
  • : New Jermany lodged a message on the The Bar on the corner of every region Regional Message Board.

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