The Oppressed Peoples of Next Meal is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Bad Bessie with an iron fist, and remarkable for its state-planned economy, free-roaming dinosaurs, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 12.406 billion Next Mealians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, with Industry, Healthcare, and Environment also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Pasture. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Next Mealian economy, worth a remarkable 4,554 trillion Helping Hands a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Retail, Furniture Restoration, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 367,114 Helping Hands, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Female ship captains never volunteer for polar routes, there has been a series of riots between local cannibals and health food advocates, the term "Native Next Mealian" has been redefined as anyone with the same skin color as the majority, and the nation's conservatives are known to favour male escorts. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Next Meal's national animal is the Handsy Human, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Next Meal is ranked 1,632^nd in the world and 28^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Governments, scoring 58.25 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.