The Free Land of Privatore is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Capitan Privatore with an even hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, otherworldly petting zoo, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 21.807 billion Privatoreans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Privatore City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Privatorean economy, worth an astonishing 10,512 trillion Privs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 482,091 Privs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The election for Capitan Privatore's office's janitor is heating up, it's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves, it's illegal to be caught on tape, and an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. Crime is totally unknown. Privatore's national animal is the Weasel, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Privatore is ranked 283,604^th in the world and 5,244^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 19.34 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.