The Constitutional Monarchy of Clocriestes is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Gabe Caldiri with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, frequent executions, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 1.123 billion Clocriestesians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Abbotsford. The average income tax rate is 71.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Clocriestesian economy, worth 95.5 trillion dollars a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Cheese Exports, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 85,057 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Computers have been banned, the military has gone fission for more funding, government police forces protect public schools from the threat of protest, and everyone suspects that everyone else is a terrorist. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Clocriestes's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is THE KARTEL SMNN RELIGION.

Clocriestes is ranked 48,454^th in the world and 1,107^th in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 4,169.11 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.