The Constitutional Monarchy of Clocriestes is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Gabe Caldiri with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, daily referendums, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 1.075 billion Clocriestesians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Abbotsford. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.3%.

The all-consuming Clocriestesian economy, worth 100 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Cheese Exports, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 93,107 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Children are sent to either religious or secular schools, planespotters are emigrating in droves, Clocriestes has taken the radical step of electing its future leaders, and failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Clocriestes's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is THE KARTEL SMNN RELIGION.

Clocriestes is ranked 253,786^th in the world and 5,778^th in The North Pacific for Highest Food Quality, scoring 7.38 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.