The Holy Empire of PT-Cruiser is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by The One with an even hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, devout population of 11.067 billion PT-Cruiserians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, moralistic, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Spirituality, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Little Heart. The average income tax rate is 92.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving PT-Cruiserian economy, worth 783 trillion VBucks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Basket Weaving industry. Average income is 70,756 VBucks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Playground injuries are considered academic progress, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth, five-hundred-twenty-five-thousand-six-hundred revivals is how theatre-goers measure a year, and undersea volcanoes receive strongly worded letters for violating environmental regulations. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PT-Cruiser's national animal is the Big Chungus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

PT-Cruiser is ranked 298^th in the world and 1^st in The Parking Lot for Most Primitive, scoring 424.32 on the Scary Big Number Scale.