The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 173 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, pith helmet sales, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 6.697 billion Second Best Puppet 173ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 81.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 173ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,167 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 174,319 cards, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway, coat closets are being re-branded as bedrooms, both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade, and bargain-hunting is considered unpatriotic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 173's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 173 is ranked 227,483^rd in the world and 788^th in Two for Most Primitive, scoring -104.62 on the Scary Big Number Scale.