The Republic of San Montagna is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, frequent executions, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 14.637 billion Sammontagnese are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sabazio. The average income tax rate is 79.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient San Montagnan economy, worth a remarkable 3,475 trillion Lires a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 237,413 Lires, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Slow dancing is made trickier when Auntie Edna insists on standing between the couple's arms, sports club owners are having a moneyball, Max Barry finally has time for writing books after NationStates was recently outlawed, and sometimes a single pallbearer is all you need. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. San Montagna's national animal is the Cool animal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

San Montagna is ranked 275,175^th in the world and 178^th in The Western Isles for Safest, scoring 7.38 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.