The Empire of Teleostomi Bay is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Empress Charlotte with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 11.736 billion Teleostomi are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Imperial District. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 84.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Teleostomi economy, worth a remarkable 1,899 trillion kilogram Teleostomi Bays a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 161,842 kilogram Teleostomi Bays, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 804,004 per year while the poor average 18,429, a ratio of 43.6 to 1.

Vanity is the constant enemy of dignity, visitors to Violet Rock City are stunned to learn that they must memorize the "99 Principles" before entering, conscripts often volunteer for a second tour of duty so they can get a ticket to next year's Army Revue, and where there's smoke there's the Teleostomi Forestry Department. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teleostomi Bay's national animal is the housecat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is episcopal anti-Paulism.

Teleostomi Bay is ranked 22,879^th in the world and 1,645^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 87.47 law-abiding acts per hour.