The Free Land of The Freetopians is a gargantuan, cultured nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, devout population of 32.426 billion Freetopiansians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Freeport. The average income tax rate is 76.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Freetopiansian economy, worth a remarkable 1,737 trillion frees a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 53,580 frees, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Police pull people off the street for even mentioning the word plane, every new toxic waste dump comes with a seal of approval from the government's science advisor, big game hunters travel to The Freetopians to try their hand at shark-shooting, and anyone who so much as looks at Royalty without the proper amount of deference is jailed. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Freetopians's national animal is the topia, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Freetopians is ranked 146,893^rd in the world and 7^th in Wyndia for Most Primitive, scoring -51.97 on the Scary Big Number Scale.