by Max Barry

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The Greater Empire of The Islands of Tonga

“'Oku 'ikai ke ke fie ma'u ho'o he kuohili ke tokoni ki.” Hefia Tupou XV

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Political Freedoms:
Below Average

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: The North Pacific


The Islands of Tonga

Population5.549 billion

CapitalKava Lund
LeaderHefia Tupou XV
FaithLord Börk

CurrencyTola 'a
AnimalPacific golden plover

The Greater Empire of The Islands of Tonga is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Hefia Tupou XV with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate population of 5.549 billion Tongan's have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kava Lund. The average income tax rate is 76.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tongan economy, worth 826 trillion Tola 'as a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 148,940 Tola 'as, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

All screens are equal but some are more equal than others, the best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop, copies of the constitution are used as toilet paper, and hospitals fear government fines more than terrorist ransoms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Islands of Tonga's national animal is the Pacific golden plover, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Lord Börk.

The Islands of Tonga is ranked 25,199th in the world and 1,338th in The North Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 78.59 on the Human Development Index.

Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,170thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 7,317thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,200thLargest Publishing Industry: 8,525thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,739thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,163rdMost Efficient Economies: 9,282ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9,619thLargest Black Market: 10,742ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 10,807thMost Corrupt Governments: 10,859thMost Cheerful Citizens: 11,991stTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 12,103rdMost Influential: 12,503rdHighest Average Incomes: 14,375thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 14,452ndHighest Poor Incomes: 14,467thLargest Governments: 14,919thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 15,468thNicest Citizens: 15,768thMost Cultured: 16,113thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16,287thMost Compassionate Citizens: 17,253rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 17,677thMost Secular: 18,738thMost Advanced Public Education: 19,072ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 19,301stSmartest Citizens: 19,560thMost Inclusive: 19,596thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,097thMost Scientifically Advanced: 20,996thHighest Economic Output: 23,051st
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 88th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 290th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 377th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 411th in the regionLargest Black Market: 483rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 483rd in the regionTop
Most Efficient Economies: 511th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 517th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 529th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 560th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 571st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 598th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 648th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 657th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 707th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 722nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 723rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 730th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 759th in the regionLargest Governments: 768th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 801st in the regionMost Cultured: 824th in the regionNicest Citizens: 861st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 927th in the regionMost Secular: 967th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 968th in the region

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