The Republic of The Long of Port Noon is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its compulsory military service, state-planned economy, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 8.118 billion Long of Port Noonians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Education. The average income tax rate is 49.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Long of Port Noonian economy, worth 287 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. Average income is 35,390 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Long of Port Noon's national animal is the horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Long of Port Noon is ranked 166,822^nd in the world and 1^st in Port Noon for Most Primitive, scoring -63.25 on the Scary Big Number Scale.