The Realm of Topoliani is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Dandi with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, keen interest in outer space, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 13.951 billion Topolianians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Topoliani. The average income tax rate is 26.6%.

The thriving Topolianian economy, worth a remarkable 1,023 trillion Hyperpyrons a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 73,375 Hyperpyrons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's Medal of Honour can be found as a free toy in breakfast cereal, litter collection has replaced fast food as the most popular after-school job, oil executives can be seen reluctantly cleaning oil-soaked birds, and baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Topoliani's national animal is the Ferret, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Topoliani is ranked 160,284^th in the world and 6,248^th in Balder for Highest Food Quality, scoring 14.66 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.