The Empire of Ump353 is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, disturbing lack of elderly people, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.788 billion Ump353ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 77.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ump353ian economy, worth 849 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 177,469 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians and casino owners who so much as wander into the same room are arrested on the spot, power stations shutting down at night has made bedtime reading tricky, a recent political debate came to a quick close once the ruling party decreed it was "just plain silly", and the last thing Ump353ian soldiers hear before charging into battle is a preacher trying to convert them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ump353's national animal is the Wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Ump353 is ranked 11,523^rd in the world and 890^th in Balder for Most Corrupt Governments, with 143 kickbacks per hour.