by Max Barry

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The Grand Capitalist Federation of United Kuzikstan

“Glory to Shanting, glory to its people, glory to unity!” Liqner Bjuzka

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Duckspeaker

Location: Northern Utopia

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

United Kuzikstan

Population13.166 billion

CapitalKuzikstania
LeaderLiqner Bjuzka
FaithAtheism

CurrencyTumi
AnimalSazi Bear

The Grand Capitalist Federation of United Kuzikstan is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Liqner Bjuzka with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, keen interest in outer space, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.166 billion Kuzikstanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kuzikstania. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 87.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Kuzikstanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,080 trillion Tumis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 157,999 Tumis, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 626,688 per year while the poor average 26,900, a ratio of 23.3 to 1.

Quiet professionalism has returned to the nation's armed forces, a mayoral candidate backed by Liqner Bjuzka recently won re-election with 110% of the vote, Liqner Bjuzka's Dreadnought-class tankbuster limousine is said to have more ammunition than the entire Brancalandian Army, and it is still not known if the commander in chief outranks the supreme commander. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Kuzikstan's national animal is the Sazi Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

United Kuzikstan is ranked 17,536th in the world and 9th in Northern Utopia for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 8,579.76 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.

Top
5%
Most Secular: 4,094thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,232ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,604thMost Scientifically Advanced: 6,447thLowest Crime Rates: 6,590thHealthiest Citizens: 8,093rdMost Developed: 9,662ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,978thLongest Average Lifespans: 10,363rdMost Corrupt Governments: 10,914thMost Stationary: 10,933rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 11,435thLargest Governments: 11,592ndHighest Economic Output: 11,998thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 12,045thLargest Information Technology Sector: 12,183rdMost Influential: 12,272ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 12,301stLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 14,035thTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 15,716thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 16,075thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,536thMost Efficient Economies: 19,814thHighest Average Incomes: 19,837thMost Patriotic: 21,684thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 22,873rdMost Authoritarian: 22,952ndHighest Food Quality: 27,092ndMost Subsidized Industry: 27,823rdMost Conservative: 28,643rd
Top
5%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Stationary: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the region

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