The Republic of West Kerch is a gargantuan, cultured nation, remarkable for its avant-garde cinema, lack of airports, and frequent executions. The compassionate, hard-working population of 10.083 billion West Kerchians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15.7%.

The thriving West Kerchian economy, worth 777 trillion Galleons a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Furniture Restoration, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 77,130 Galleons, with the richest citizens earning 6.5 times as much as the poorest.

Doctors prescribe medicines but they rarely dispense hope or compassion, "What's the Frequency, Leader?" is a favorite phrase of backyard radio broadcasters when interrupting official diplomatic channels, there has been a rapid increase of noise complaints over the sound of buzzing bees, and the media have begun calling the government treasury "Leader's stash". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. West Kerch's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

West Kerch is ranked 120,740^th in the world and 12^th in Lardyland for Safest, scoring 74.01 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.