The Barbaric Empire of Xeraph is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Emperor Alarik Ta'anit with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, flagrant waste-dumping, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 44.393 billion Xeraphians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Law & Order, although Industry and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ravennii. The average income tax rate is 16.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Xeraphian economy, worth a remarkable 2,194 trillion topaz rings a year, is highly specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Retail. Average income is 49,438 topaz rings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Gangs have taken to secret handshakes after tattoos were banned, homes have been banned from having any more than one wheel, according to the latest national census as many as two-thirds of the respondents possibly consider 'violet' their favorite color, and Xeraph has designated Ravennii as its capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Xeraph's national animal is the Black Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Essene Zen-Tao.

Xeraph is ranked 1^st in the world and 1^st in Mercenary Lands for Most Primitive, scoring zero on the Scary Big Number Scale.