The Holy Empire of Mesyeti is a massive, genial nation, ruled by John Paul Smith with an iron fist, and remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 2.436 billion Yetis are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Downtown Pindinghall. The average income tax rate is 72.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Mesyetian economy, worth 143 trillion Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 58,777 Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Atheistic refugees haven't got a prayer of being granted asylum, auditors are gutting every governmental department, money is being desperately pumped into the ruined economy, and women give birth underneath so many blankets that the doctor can't feel the bump. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mesyeti's national animal is the Rust Programmer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Hernan Lorccan.

Mesyeti is ranked 123,440^th in the world and 371^st in 10000 Islands for Most Corrupt Governments, with 6.99 kickbacks per hour.