The Empire of the BB of BrightonBurg is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Kaiser Janos II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 45.217 billion BrightonBurgians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greater Brightonburg City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient BrightonBurgian economy, worth an astonishing 23,553 trillion Silver Coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is a breathtaking 520,902 Silver Coins, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,082,572 per year while the poor average 87,536, a ratio of 23.8 to 1.

A rolling news ticker tape of disclaimers runs across the bottom of the screen on all TV shows, school nurse's offices feature full-service operating suites, nations across the world are quick to praise Kaiser Janos II's good looks and intellectual prowess, and politicians ponder for at least a minute when asked if they would like sugar in their tea. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. BrightonBurg's national animal is the Boar, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Holy Orange Catholic Church ⛪.

BrightonBurg is ranked 115^th in the world and 1^st in One big Island for Most Primitive, scoring 605.86 on the Scary Big Number Scale.