The Federal Empire of Erskiellander is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Qayser Theodor I von Altern with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical population of 6.185 billion Erskiellianen are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Industry, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Verpanel. The average income tax rate is 79.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Erskiellian economy, worth 843 trillion Erskinar Krons a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 136,397 Erskinar Krons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist, the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments, glancing at the car radio display while driving is treated as attempted homicide, and modelling agencies send their clients to work in nursing homes. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Erskiellander's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Protestant Christianity.

Erskiellander is ranked 10,458^th in the world and 553^rd in Balder for Highest Food Quality, scoring 158.06 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.