The Kingdom of PlanetMercury is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Freddie Mercury with an even hand, and notable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, avant-garde cinema, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 9.034 billion PlanetMercuries are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kensington. The average income tax rate is 73.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient PlanetMercuryian economy, worth a remarkable 3,068 trillion pounds a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 339,695 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Prisoners have been known to host cooking and home décor television shows, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, citizens are encouraged to report friends, family members or co-workers who seem depressed to the government for "counselling", and the men in trenchcoats hanging around playgrounds are actually police officers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PlanetMercury's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

PlanetMercury is ranked 84,332^nd in the world and 1,885^th in The North Pacific for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 2,915.31 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.