The Res Publica Principium of Shoelancia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Gaius Mike Flavius Carus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, anti-smoking policies, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.546 billion Shoelanciani are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Education and Law & Order are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Agletta Imperia. The average income tax rate is 1.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Shoelancian economy, worth a remarkable 4,514 trillion Kroner a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 191,736 Kroner, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

Applications to enter seminaries spike right before the obligatory fasts, it's a marvellous night for a moon dance as the sparks on your home start to rise, the police have reaffirmed their tough stance on drugs, and songwriters compete to see who can come up with the most blasphemous lyrics. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Shoelancia's national animal is the Fish, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Shoelancia is ranked 274,329^th in the world and 10,181^st in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 7.78 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.