The Sovereign Kingdom of The Baltic Alliance is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by King Erik II with an even hand, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, absence of drug laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 30.822 billion Balticans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mariehamn. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Baltic Alliancean economy, worth a remarkable 6,656 trillion Swans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 215,970 Swans, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,188,192 per year while the poor average 19,913, a ratio of 59.7 to 1.

People typically base their votes on which party has the cutest logo, truancy officers have a hard time catching children trained in advanced camouflage skills, academics have a bone to pick with free market entrepreneurs, and foreign football clubs wave the Baltic Alliancean flag before every game. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The Baltic Alliance's national animal is the Baltic Panda, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Forn Sed.

The Baltic Alliance is ranked 266,454^th in the world and 388^th in Nordic Lands for Highest Food Quality, scoring 6.95 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.