by Max Barry

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The Burlesque Republic of The Centauri

“What do you want you Moon-Faced Assassin of Joy?”

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Wysteria


The Centauri

Population34.912 billion

CapitalCentauri Prime
LeaderEmperor Jaffa
Faiththe pantheon of fifty deities


The Burlesque Republic of The Centauri is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Emperor Jaffa with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 34.912 billion Centauris are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Centauri Prime. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Centaurian economy, worth an astonishing 31,790 trillion duckets a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is a breathtaking 910,587 duckets, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,675,617 per year while the poor average 62,417, a ratio of 90.9 to 1.

Citizens complain about a burning sensation after bathing, the ongoing space elevator construction project has elevated the national debt to all new levels, cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high, and Centaurian farm salmon are known for being both horribly diseased and remarkably acrobatic. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. The Centauri's national animal is the Narn, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the pantheon of fifty deities.

The Centauri is ranked 54,193rd in the world and 27th in Wysteria for Most Extreme, scoring 23.2 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

Highest Disposable Incomes: 5thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 6thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 6thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7thMost Armed: 8thHighest Economic Output: 8thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 11thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 11thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11thMost Avoided: 12thLargest Gambling Industry: 13thHighest Average Incomes: 15thFattest Citizens: 24thHighest Crime Rates: 24thLargest Insurance Industry: 27thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 30thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 34thMost Scientifically Advanced: 41stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 51stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 51stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 57thLargest Mining Sector: 60thMost Cultured: 71stRudest Citizens: 87thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 90thLargest Populations: 101stSmartest Citizens: 138thLargest Agricultural Sector: 147thLargest Publishing Industry: 163rdLargest Retail Industry: 184thMost Devout: 197thMost Rebellious Youth: 323rdMost Corrupt Governments: 436thLargest Information Technology Sector: 447thMost Efficient Economies: 1,144thTop
Largest Black Market: 2,554thLargest Governments: 3,370thMost Subsidized Industry: 5,488thMost Influential: 5,739thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6,262ndMost Pro-Market: 7,636thTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 10,179thHighest Drug Use: 10,364thNudest: 14,035th
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Cultured: 3rd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Avoided: 4th in the regionMost Devout: 4th in the regionRudest Citizens: 4th in the regionTop
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 6th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6th in the regionLargest Black Market: 7th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 7th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 7th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 8th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 8th in the region

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