The Republic of Noristoniaka is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Ivan Talvenpoigu with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, soft-spoken computers, and frequent executions. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 7.497 billion Karjalans enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Petroskoi. The average income tax rate is 97.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Karelian economy, worth a remarkable 1,596 trillion rublas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 212,964 rublas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Asthmatics can now suffer the effects of polluting chimneys from further away than ever before, forgetting to pay your annual passport bill is a leading cause of deportations, Ivan Talvenpoigu reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes, and only fully-fledged members of MENSA are allowed to vote. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noristoniaka's national animal is the eider, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Noristoniaka is ranked 197,854^th in the world and 934^th in Europe for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -2.83 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.