The Kingdom of Old World Order is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by King Darius Banovic I with an iron fist, and renowned for its avant-garde cinema, national health service, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 7.792 billion Croats of old world are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Delminium. The average income tax rate is 93.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Croatian economy, worth a remarkable 1,136 trillion Kunas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 145,886 Kunas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Commemoration of the Great Europe War costs almost as much as the war itself, public incontinence is a growing problem amongst the nation's women, atheists on vacation find Roman Catholicism's scriptures make useful doorstops, and foreign nations often blame poverty and terrorism on Croatian selfishness. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old World Order's national animal is the Dinaric Tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Old World Order is ranked 199,949^th in the world and 1,218^th in Europe for Safest, scoring 44.61 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.