The Commonwealth of Biotopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Jarl Saint-Kordaam with a fair hand, and renowned for its soft-spoken computers, otherworldly petting zoo, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 34.89 billion Biotopians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zyaire. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Biotopian economy, worth a remarkable 9,607 trillion Koppers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 275,364 Koppers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Knitters are arrested for carrying needles in their bags, forty-year-old men are asked for their ID before watching the latest pony cartoon movies, taking hostages is a great way to influence government policy, and visiting the best Biotopian restaurants requires keeping a visa on file. Crime is totally unknown. Biotopia's national animal is the Sea Serpent, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Civic Atheism.

Biotopia is ranked 2,297^th in the world and 18^th in The Leftist Assembly for Lowest Crime Rates, with 139.73 law-abiding acts per hour.