The United Socialist States of Bloni is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Prosci Lumi with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.773 billion Blonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hamache. The average income tax rate is 93.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Blonian economy, worth 324 trillion Balonis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 117,149 Balonis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The saying "when pigs fly" has been changed to "when the lights work", male med students learning female anatomy do so with their eyes tightly closed, the nation is currently revamping its entire education system, and burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bloni's national animal is the Turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Bloni is ranked 8,957^th in the world and 34^th in Starlight for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 5,973.53 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.