The Zephyrs of Zerph is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Crow Wononine with an even hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, sprawling nuclear power plants, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 5.051 billion Zerphii are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 48.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Zerphii economy, worth 226 trillion zecks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 44,859 zecks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Workers' complaints never reach central planning, everyone suspects that everyone else is a terrorist, senior citizens are often found slaving away in factories, and search and rescue forces now accept cheques and all major credit cards. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zerph's national animal is the crow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Zerph is ranked 52,978^th in the world and 174^th in Starlight for Most Cultured, scoring 71 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.