The Cat-run Empire of Commonwealth of Hank the Cat is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Hank the Cat with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, aversion to nipples, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 19.398 billion Hanklyvanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Education, although Defense, Healthcare, and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hankpolis. The average income tax rate is 63.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hanklyvanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,029 trillion Treat Tokens a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Gambling. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 104,603 Treat Tokens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Leakers release information by etching graffiti on bathroom stalls, the restriction that you must be over 1.1 metres tall to ride a carnotaurus has recently been waived, anyone who doesn't attend Official Governmental Religious Services is fined, and new legislators take a week-long class entitled "Keeping Your Job: How to Avoid Offending President Hank the Cat". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Commonwealth of Hank the Cat's national animal is the Maine Coon Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Treatism.

Commonwealth of Hank the Cat is ranked 278,333^rd in the world and 10,463^rd in Balder for Most Primitive, scoring -315.42 on the Scary Big Number Scale.