The Empire of Dogteeth is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.373 billion Dogteethians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pawstep City. The average income tax rate is 84.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Dogteethian economy, worth 582 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 91,408 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The minority inevitably have their addenda vetoed, Leader is called 'Patches' at international summits, people's charity begins and ends at home, and police officers often conceal their identities to safeguard against public complaints. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dogteeth's national animal is the mongrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Dogteeth is ranked 32,654^th in the world and 840^th in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 81.2 law-abiding acts per hour.